How to Speak Oxfordlish

English is a most versatile and precocious beast, existing in many hundreds of species around the world, interbreeding and adapting to local conditions. If English is not yet quite ubiquitous, it’s omniverous. The locust of languages.
Oxford has a Dictionary and a punctuation mark named after it, and it’s also home to the oldest English-speaking university in the world. Thousands of foreign students come to town each year to learn English as a second language at one of the many private schools in the city that peddle 4-week intensive courses and TOEFL exams.
So it might be expected that some kind of perfect English is heard on Oxford streets, or at least in the tutorial rooms.
But Oxfordlish – as it’s spoken by locals – is rich and varied, whether by accident or design. In New College chapel, there’s a memorial to Thomas Spooner, for whose stumbling speech the word “spoonerism” was coined. And down the road at Magdalen, Tolkein even invented his own language – Elvish.
Oxford, a city of just 100,000 people, is such a melting pot for language that even my kiwi inflections go largely unremarked. (Sweet, bro.)
First of all, there’s no “Oxford accent”. There are several.
In suburban Headington and Cowley, the Estuary accent dominates… you could be in any medium-sized city in southeast England, with it’s broad agglomeration of home counties vowels and Cockney dropped consonants, punctuated among the young by the Essexy “Know wa’ I mean, ya?”.
Beyond the ring road lie Abingdon, Witney and the dozens of villages that make up the greater conurbation of Oxford. It’s here that you’ll hear evidence of the Cotswolds, a mere 15 miles distant, and the West Country an easy return day trip by car. The r’s start to gently burr, the i’s drift towards “oi”.
And in the city centre itself, some undergraduates wear their particular dialect like tribal marker. The undergrad accent is unmistakable – long, drawly open aah’s and a slightly superior precision of delivery, perfect for making echoes in the fog on Christ Church meadow as you jog down to the Isis for winter rowing practice.
It doesn’t seem to matter if you’re from Liverpool, Guilford or Rawalpindi – undergrads pick up their annointed accent within weeks of arrival. If you can’t tell an undergrad by the careful way she counts her remaining coins as she pays for a Sunday sandwich in Morton’s, then you can definitely tell when she opens her mouth to speak.
But, like all youthful affectations, the shimmering of undergrad English fades rapidly. With a first degree under your belt, if you stay in Oxford, you can resume the accent of your origins. No postgrad, doctoral student or Fellow I’ve heard ever sounds like they were born here. You’ll detect in their voices all the marks of home – whether that’s Manchester, Sydney, South Carolina or Copenhagen. And so the melting pot boils onwards.
Next time… a shorter Oxford glossary.








