In France it’s long been acceptable to take advantage of “le weekend” to undertake “un relooking” (either house renovation or a  fashion makeover, depending on context).

I’m in no position to complain about any French person who chooses to borrow English words whenever it suits them. After a few weeks back in France, I’m still just getting to grips again with the passé composé of reflexive verbs and abusing the subjonctif at every opportunity.

But it seems to be in business that the vocabulary of le management anglo-saxon has gained particular prominence. I’ve started keeping a list of business Franglais. Here are a few I heard this week:

• le pipe-line = sales pipeline (Jean-Marc, t’as combien de prospects dans ton pipe-line ce mois-ci?)
• le boss = the person who asked Jean-Marc the probing question above
• un brainstorming = brainstorming (an opportunity for a frank and passionate exchange of opinions on why Jean-Marc doesn’t have enough sales dans son pipe-line)
• le team marketing = the people who ultimately get blamed for the lack of sales in Jean-Marc’s pipe-line
• un slide = a Powerpoint slide. Possibly produced for le boss by somebody in le team marketing
• un Powerpoint = une collection de slides. Presentation of “un powerpoint” also provides an opportunity for a frank and passionate exchange of opinions.
• le goodwill = goodwill (ie. the value of a business entity not directly attributable to its assets and liabilities)
• le staff = employees (some of whom were on strike last week)
• le Performance Management = techniques for finding ways to help le staff work more effectively
• le Balanced Score-Card = a tool used in “le perfomance management” focusing not only on financial outcomes but also on operational, marketing and developmental/environmental measurements
• les stakeholders = that’s stakeholders, as distinct the members of le staff who order filet mignon (à point) at the company restaurant
• un lunch = the partaking of food with business colleagues in the middle of the day. Another opportunity for a frank and passionate exchange of opinions (generally about non-work topics).
• le business model = apparently any model of business in France that permits flagrant use of English words in day-to-day operations

So I’m still picking up pieces of my former French fluency.  I’m ashamed of the verbal disaster area I’m creating as a long-dormant part of my brain creaks back into action, rashly gluing together semi-forgotten words with half-remembered grammatical structures.

But it is a relief to know that when I do forget a word, I can insert an English one instead, and sometimes find out that it’s just as acceptable as any French alternative.

Bon courage à tous !